Hello dear friends,
I say the REAL journey begins, because the newness period is over and I am settling into life in India and developing somewhat of a schedule (if that is possible in India), or at least a flow. I am in the full swing of my training, which I love. I am now working at so many levels, on so many applications, and with so many different groups from youth, adolescents to adults. It is the most exciting opportunity to use ALL my skills that I trained diligently for over the last 4 1/2 years, plus my previous years of business and life experiences. Funny how at the time, I wasn't sure why I was doing all of the training or what it was far--but just trusting what I was being called to do. That faith has certainly paid off, and put me on the most exciting life journey and experiences of all! And I am starting to see glimmers of change and empowerment in people here already. So rewarding to witness. But I feel that I am the one learning the most. My 1st 2 blogs were more about observations and stories of India. There has been a substantial change going on in me over the last 1 1/2 months, and I noticed that there has been a settling in and quietness that has spread over me. I have reported many "mini post" on FB, but where I couldn't wait to create my Blogs before--I now found a resistance. This is where the spiritual and intimate feelings and shifts in me are surfacing. So with that being said, I now know that my sharing with you will not only be of interesting stories from India--but I will be sharing some very intimate feelings and changes that I go through as I continue growing and learning from this experience. I promise to try to keep enough interest and stimulation for your enjoyment, however!
I still really love the people here. I am being loved more and more, not only by the staff I work with, but the community as a whole. I am making friends and almost being "fought over" as to whose home I go next. They now know I love ice cream, and know my favorite flavors, so now I usually get to enjoy that as well as great fellowship after my afternoon field work and training. I also notice how affectionate the girls & women are to each other--and the boys and men are also--I so love that. But I interestingly didn't see any affection anywhere among couples--even married. I know some of that is because of cultural taboos of display, but even in homes of couples. And this has been "marriage" season. Yes, there is a season!! And I have observed many celebrations, only to find that there didn't seem to be much joy. There was a lot of pomp and circumstance and going through great celebratory motions--but a real lack of joy in most instances. I asked about this, and everyone feels that it is true. Marriages are still arranged, so these couples are usually strangers, and the girls go off to live with the "even stranger" in-laws. And many times they all share space together, even for sleeping, so young couples have no privacy or ever get a real chance to be alone and develop a deep relationship. Too many of these young girls get married only to find themselves living with a husband and in-laws that only wanted a "slave worker" and their dowry, plus they are not allowed to leave the house. I am reading more and more instances where these young women are so sad, lonely and abused in these situations, and feel they have no where to go, that they are committing suicide. It is a really sad and heartbreaking thing to read. So, now I am meeting so many young women that are choosing to not marry. They say after witnessing the unhappiness or their parents (mainly mothers) and so many friends--they realize they love their freedom and lives of work and friendships--and they surely look and seem happy. This is a huge shift in awareness which will make a big cultural impact and puts people more in charge of their lives and own happiness.
Also, one of the things that has troubled me since day one, is that there is trash everywhere up and down every road. It is ugly and stinks!! People just take it all outside their houses and dump it in the street. Occasionally some city type vehicle will come by and attempt to rake and burn it. And of course, the burning is not pleasant either. I have started an awareness campaign of trying to look at a change. The attitude in this area is to just do what has always been done. There is a great lack of reasoning capacity to look outside their situations, or question why or how of anything. Easier just to follow and ignore any change. Probably why this area has been so behind or slow to make cultural and needed situational changes than other regions--even Mumbai. When I ask them if they hate looking at it and smelling it--they say they don't see it anymore. SO I have asked them to see it now, and visualize what it would be like if everyone stopped just throwing things out their windows to the street and saw cleaned up streets. They liked it. Now my whole office has stopped throwing any trash outside at all. But looking from the other side, then the cows, dogs, goats, etc would miss a few meals!! And also I daily see men and their children sifting through all of the trash looking for some or any resource they can use--or any bits of food they can salvage. Even the cow dung is a precious resource--and I am sure that they are glad it is plentiful--all in your perspective. Women and children collect the dried patties daily for use of fuel for cooking, or bonding materials for houses. It is so valuable, that one of the math training modules we have for kids uses mathematical equations for: " if you have 2 pails of dung and you need 8 pails of dung, then how many more pails of dung do you need to complete your tasks?" (Something like that!!) Obviously, I was extremely amused!!! So, it is all in the way of the system and what your perspective is, right? Is there a right or wrong? Which way is correct to serve what population?
The other thing I am learning about is the caste system here. There are 5 main caste systems, but many sub caste in the lower systems. The lower caste used to be considered and called (and sometimes still are) the Untouchables. That is because no one else would touch them, be near them, help them, educated them, or even eat any food they touched or prepared. ANd where "they" say that is changing, I still see very strong evidence that it exists. The lower caste are only for the most menial jobs that no one else would do. They are the sewer cleaners that many of you may have seen from Slumdog Millionaire. For instance, people want a low caste person to clean their homes--daily--for almost no wages. The people at this level are at least clean, so they are allowed in their houses. However these people will clean everything in the house except the toilets. You have to have a separate even lower caste person come to clean the toilets. It is unbelievable to even hear about, much less see. Also these low caste people do the menial construction jobs. So even though people "say" that they want change, who would do these jobs for them? These people are the same ones that say one thing, but then complain if these same "workers" ask for a rupee more to try to increase their standards. Im just saying!!!!!! Here there is no machinery, so buildings (which usually can go as high as 4 stories) are all built manually. No cranes, concrete trucks, or heaven forbid safety equipment around anything--much less the scaffolding!! Whether it is to clean up rubble from a torn down previous building or carry materials for the new construction, my observation is that old women and some men from lower caste are used for this--also children! I have seen time and time again, old women carrying so much concrete, bricks & rubbles on large trays off a site, or dead lifting approximately 100 lbs bags of cement to carry them on their heads up 4 levels for the workers. The other day I stopped during a particularly hot afternoon to try to show these women how to pick up these hugh loads with their legs--not their backs (who knows what their spine and neck is like from always carrying so much weight). Lots of men were just standing around and watching this. They were struggling getting my meaning after repeated attempts, but knew that I was trying to help them. I saw they had no food or water, so I next walked down the street for water and a bunch of bananas to bring back to them. I hugged them, looked them in the eyes and I could see their shock that I would care and actually touch them. Being the only foreigner and White American as I stated before, I am highly visable and being watched closely. Not only does this feed my soul, but I hope that I am a model of compassion to others and hope that I am planting seeds of caring and positive change for others to follow. And if not, I made a difference in their lives for that day--and in mine!!
There was a funny situation that happened the other day. I now know that cows are NOT colorblind!! I previously told you that this is a drought area with no rain WHAT-SO-EVER until monsoon season starts. So everything is all brown!! Occasionally I see someone will get a little offering of green grasses on the side of the road for the cows and goats. SO the cows have obviously identified anything green as food. I was walking down the road with a green post-it-note in my hand. Normally cows totally ignore you. Well, this day, this large cow came charging up to me. These are Brahmas and known to be somewhat aggressive when they want to be. I just stopped in my tracks wondering--what the heck? Then I realized this cow, from down the road, saw that small green piece of paper in my hand and was excited that she came for her treat! Needless to say, I now never carry anything green when I am walking the streets.
The other custom that I really like is that Indians love to eat in communion--as well as be in community. At my office, lunch everyday is brought from home and shared with each other. We all wait for each other, then sit together in a circle on the floor and share our items with the group and enjoy fellowship. Sometimes afterwards we bring out the Harmonium and drums and sing wonderful India songs together. I just love the sense of family that most people have here. And they certainly have made me their family. Lots of great laughter, smiles, and hugs!! Now I am being invited for sleep overs from some of the single women. Too cool!!
Another funny (not so funny) story I will share is that there was a newspaper article about an old women that had fallen into an unmarked manhole and seriously injured herself. The article said that there are many manholes throughout the city with large and deep manholes that are left unmarked and long periods of time, and their is no lighting around them at night. Many injuries have occurred. The cities response was (make sure you are sitting down)---"It is not the fault of the city. We have learned that the victim had problems with her eyesight. Her family should have been more careful and not allowed her to leave the house after 6:30 when it is dark". I was wondering what US citizens would do if they received a statement like that from this situation--or better yet that any official would have the audacity to make that statement??!!
So, I will prepare to close this blog. I have days of complete joy, and I have days of complete frustration. I have days I know that this is the perfect and best choice I ever made. I have days that I ask what the heck I have done with my life. I have been turned inside out and upside down, and yet I still know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be for now. I am in a place of total surrender to what shows up each day, what my role is, how I can serve this population, what I will learn, and feeling strong and powerful about this journey. I so realize how human I am, and am grateful to be so alive to feeling so many powerful emotions. My journey is really just now beginning. I have let go of trying to "get in my head" of analyzing my feelings for now, and just letting them come and be what they are. They need time to "simmer", and I am excited and looking forward to seeing what it will all look like when it is "baked"! And I have let go of wondering very much what is down the road and worrying what tomorrow or my future will look like. I certainly had no idea a year ago that I would be living in India--so why waste time with that energy! So living in the present, loving and doing exciting work, and lightening my load has added so much to my life and happiness. I thank you dedicated friends, for listening to me, for sharing your thoughts & responses with me, and for letting me know that you care. The greatest feeling is to know that people out there love and care about you. So please all of you take care and watch for continued updates. This upcoming weekend is a national and everyone's favorite annual festival--the Holi color festival. All about painting yourself with lots of colors and being creative with it and celebrating together. Looks like fun to me!! So look for some awesome pictures soon.
Namaste,
Kathryn
I say the REAL journey begins, because the newness period is over and I am settling into life in India and developing somewhat of a schedule (if that is possible in India), or at least a flow. I am in the full swing of my training, which I love. I am now working at so many levels, on so many applications, and with so many different groups from youth, adolescents to adults. It is the most exciting opportunity to use ALL my skills that I trained diligently for over the last 4 1/2 years, plus my previous years of business and life experiences. Funny how at the time, I wasn't sure why I was doing all of the training or what it was far--but just trusting what I was being called to do. That faith has certainly paid off, and put me on the most exciting life journey and experiences of all! And I am starting to see glimmers of change and empowerment in people here already. So rewarding to witness. But I feel that I am the one learning the most. My 1st 2 blogs were more about observations and stories of India. There has been a substantial change going on in me over the last 1 1/2 months, and I noticed that there has been a settling in and quietness that has spread over me. I have reported many "mini post" on FB, but where I couldn't wait to create my Blogs before--I now found a resistance. This is where the spiritual and intimate feelings and shifts in me are surfacing. So with that being said, I now know that my sharing with you will not only be of interesting stories from India--but I will be sharing some very intimate feelings and changes that I go through as I continue growing and learning from this experience. I promise to try to keep enough interest and stimulation for your enjoyment, however!
I still really love the people here. I am being loved more and more, not only by the staff I work with, but the community as a whole. I am making friends and almost being "fought over" as to whose home I go next. They now know I love ice cream, and know my favorite flavors, so now I usually get to enjoy that as well as great fellowship after my afternoon field work and training. I also notice how affectionate the girls & women are to each other--and the boys and men are also--I so love that. But I interestingly didn't see any affection anywhere among couples--even married. I know some of that is because of cultural taboos of display, but even in homes of couples. And this has been "marriage" season. Yes, there is a season!! And I have observed many celebrations, only to find that there didn't seem to be much joy. There was a lot of pomp and circumstance and going through great celebratory motions--but a real lack of joy in most instances. I asked about this, and everyone feels that it is true. Marriages are still arranged, so these couples are usually strangers, and the girls go off to live with the "even stranger" in-laws. And many times they all share space together, even for sleeping, so young couples have no privacy or ever get a real chance to be alone and develop a deep relationship. Too many of these young girls get married only to find themselves living with a husband and in-laws that only wanted a "slave worker" and their dowry, plus they are not allowed to leave the house. I am reading more and more instances where these young women are so sad, lonely and abused in these situations, and feel they have no where to go, that they are committing suicide. It is a really sad and heartbreaking thing to read. So, now I am meeting so many young women that are choosing to not marry. They say after witnessing the unhappiness or their parents (mainly mothers) and so many friends--they realize they love their freedom and lives of work and friendships--and they surely look and seem happy. This is a huge shift in awareness which will make a big cultural impact and puts people more in charge of their lives and own happiness.
Also, one of the things that has troubled me since day one, is that there is trash everywhere up and down every road. It is ugly and stinks!! People just take it all outside their houses and dump it in the street. Occasionally some city type vehicle will come by and attempt to rake and burn it. And of course, the burning is not pleasant either. I have started an awareness campaign of trying to look at a change. The attitude in this area is to just do what has always been done. There is a great lack of reasoning capacity to look outside their situations, or question why or how of anything. Easier just to follow and ignore any change. Probably why this area has been so behind or slow to make cultural and needed situational changes than other regions--even Mumbai. When I ask them if they hate looking at it and smelling it--they say they don't see it anymore. SO I have asked them to see it now, and visualize what it would be like if everyone stopped just throwing things out their windows to the street and saw cleaned up streets. They liked it. Now my whole office has stopped throwing any trash outside at all. But looking from the other side, then the cows, dogs, goats, etc would miss a few meals!! And also I daily see men and their children sifting through all of the trash looking for some or any resource they can use--or any bits of food they can salvage. Even the cow dung is a precious resource--and I am sure that they are glad it is plentiful--all in your perspective. Women and children collect the dried patties daily for use of fuel for cooking, or bonding materials for houses. It is so valuable, that one of the math training modules we have for kids uses mathematical equations for: " if you have 2 pails of dung and you need 8 pails of dung, then how many more pails of dung do you need to complete your tasks?" (Something like that!!) Obviously, I was extremely amused!!! So, it is all in the way of the system and what your perspective is, right? Is there a right or wrong? Which way is correct to serve what population?
The other thing I am learning about is the caste system here. There are 5 main caste systems, but many sub caste in the lower systems. The lower caste used to be considered and called (and sometimes still are) the Untouchables. That is because no one else would touch them, be near them, help them, educated them, or even eat any food they touched or prepared. ANd where "they" say that is changing, I still see very strong evidence that it exists. The lower caste are only for the most menial jobs that no one else would do. They are the sewer cleaners that many of you may have seen from Slumdog Millionaire. For instance, people want a low caste person to clean their homes--daily--for almost no wages. The people at this level are at least clean, so they are allowed in their houses. However these people will clean everything in the house except the toilets. You have to have a separate even lower caste person come to clean the toilets. It is unbelievable to even hear about, much less see. Also these low caste people do the menial construction jobs. So even though people "say" that they want change, who would do these jobs for them? These people are the same ones that say one thing, but then complain if these same "workers" ask for a rupee more to try to increase their standards. Im just saying!!!!!! Here there is no machinery, so buildings (which usually can go as high as 4 stories) are all built manually. No cranes, concrete trucks, or heaven forbid safety equipment around anything--much less the scaffolding!! Whether it is to clean up rubble from a torn down previous building or carry materials for the new construction, my observation is that old women and some men from lower caste are used for this--also children! I have seen time and time again, old women carrying so much concrete, bricks & rubbles on large trays off a site, or dead lifting approximately 100 lbs bags of cement to carry them on their heads up 4 levels for the workers. The other day I stopped during a particularly hot afternoon to try to show these women how to pick up these hugh loads with their legs--not their backs (who knows what their spine and neck is like from always carrying so much weight). Lots of men were just standing around and watching this. They were struggling getting my meaning after repeated attempts, but knew that I was trying to help them. I saw they had no food or water, so I next walked down the street for water and a bunch of bananas to bring back to them. I hugged them, looked them in the eyes and I could see their shock that I would care and actually touch them. Being the only foreigner and White American as I stated before, I am highly visable and being watched closely. Not only does this feed my soul, but I hope that I am a model of compassion to others and hope that I am planting seeds of caring and positive change for others to follow. And if not, I made a difference in their lives for that day--and in mine!!
There was a funny situation that happened the other day. I now know that cows are NOT colorblind!! I previously told you that this is a drought area with no rain WHAT-SO-EVER until monsoon season starts. So everything is all brown!! Occasionally I see someone will get a little offering of green grasses on the side of the road for the cows and goats. SO the cows have obviously identified anything green as food. I was walking down the road with a green post-it-note in my hand. Normally cows totally ignore you. Well, this day, this large cow came charging up to me. These are Brahmas and known to be somewhat aggressive when they want to be. I just stopped in my tracks wondering--what the heck? Then I realized this cow, from down the road, saw that small green piece of paper in my hand and was excited that she came for her treat! Needless to say, I now never carry anything green when I am walking the streets.
The other custom that I really like is that Indians love to eat in communion--as well as be in community. At my office, lunch everyday is brought from home and shared with each other. We all wait for each other, then sit together in a circle on the floor and share our items with the group and enjoy fellowship. Sometimes afterwards we bring out the Harmonium and drums and sing wonderful India songs together. I just love the sense of family that most people have here. And they certainly have made me their family. Lots of great laughter, smiles, and hugs!! Now I am being invited for sleep overs from some of the single women. Too cool!!
Another funny (not so funny) story I will share is that there was a newspaper article about an old women that had fallen into an unmarked manhole and seriously injured herself. The article said that there are many manholes throughout the city with large and deep manholes that are left unmarked and long periods of time, and their is no lighting around them at night. Many injuries have occurred. The cities response was (make sure you are sitting down)---"It is not the fault of the city. We have learned that the victim had problems with her eyesight. Her family should have been more careful and not allowed her to leave the house after 6:30 when it is dark". I was wondering what US citizens would do if they received a statement like that from this situation--or better yet that any official would have the audacity to make that statement??!!
So, I will prepare to close this blog. I have days of complete joy, and I have days of complete frustration. I have days I know that this is the perfect and best choice I ever made. I have days that I ask what the heck I have done with my life. I have been turned inside out and upside down, and yet I still know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be for now. I am in a place of total surrender to what shows up each day, what my role is, how I can serve this population, what I will learn, and feeling strong and powerful about this journey. I so realize how human I am, and am grateful to be so alive to feeling so many powerful emotions. My journey is really just now beginning. I have let go of trying to "get in my head" of analyzing my feelings for now, and just letting them come and be what they are. They need time to "simmer", and I am excited and looking forward to seeing what it will all look like when it is "baked"! And I have let go of wondering very much what is down the road and worrying what tomorrow or my future will look like. I certainly had no idea a year ago that I would be living in India--so why waste time with that energy! So living in the present, loving and doing exciting work, and lightening my load has added so much to my life and happiness. I thank you dedicated friends, for listening to me, for sharing your thoughts & responses with me, and for letting me know that you care. The greatest feeling is to know that people out there love and care about you. So please all of you take care and watch for continued updates. This upcoming weekend is a national and everyone's favorite annual festival--the Holi color festival. All about painting yourself with lots of colors and being creative with it and celebrating together. Looks like fun to me!! So look for some awesome pictures soon.
Namaste,
Kathryn
Actually, our government does treat people like the woman in your story, only most people aren't aware of it or don't care enough to be outraged as they should be. The people who have experienced this are aware.
ReplyDeleteI always love hearing about your adventures- spiritual and philosophical as well as geographical. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts, and make sure not to paint yourself GREEN!!
:@)