Inspirations from India

Dear Friends,

Hard to believe that I am completing my 4th month in India.  I am still learning a lot, really in the flow now, making new friends, having new adventures, understanding more of the way of life here, seeing more of India, and really in a great rhythm with my training and seeing great shifts occur in the beautiful people and youth that I work with.  Very gratifying!!  I am honored to be able to plant these seeds for future growth.   And yet I am still taking needed time for stillness, reflection & meditation so as to keep a balance and not get back into over stimulation (see last Blog),     I have also lately been really reflecting on the definition of "Home".    In the past, I have always created beautiful "homes" to live in.  I thought THAT made the home.  I have now learned that I can feel at  home almost anywhere I am.  It is not about the literal house.  Home is definitely in the heart, and in the eyes and souls of the people you love and connect with, and you can take that anywhere.  Take that love and connection out of the house, and you will find that no matter how beautifully decorated it is--it is not a home.  This realization has been a gift to me.  It helps me create deeper connections to people and places, not to things or structures.

With that in mind, I also want to tell you about 3 people in particular here that are so teaching me.  Even though I tell them this, they find it hard to believe that their simple lives would so inspire and teach me.  The 1st is about a teenage girl that I train that I will call Isha (to protect her identity).  This young girl comes from a very poor family that has very little education and does not value the importance of it.  Isha is literally an incredibly beautiful girl--both inside and out.  1st of all, to look at her  you would never belief that she is from the slums.  She is always immaculately dressed,  her  long black hair beautifully braided, always adorned with beautiful earrings, and even the way she walks and carries herself shows a sense of poise, pride and sophistication.  She has been and is extremely dedicated to her education and development. So not only does she exceed in her school studies, she is part of several programs that Shaishav offers to learn and be involved in community projects, and she is also a youth volunteer learning to work and teach the children in the slum communities where she comes from.  She is always at ALL of these many meetings, on time (which is unheard of in India standards), and participates full out.  She is quiet, but when she has something to say, it is clear and meaningful.   But the most important thing is that she does this by self motivating herself.  Her parents disapprove of  her education and participating in these programs and offer no support, and they also actually  tell her that she is ugly.  She has a sister who is also very beautiful, but with lighter skin and does not desire any education at all.  These parents think the lighter skin daughter is a "parents dream" and they shower her with love and tell her how beautiful she is, while shunning Isha.   So, I am amazed at the determination and courage that this girl stands in every day to not only make a different life for herself, but for others in her community.  She inspires me.

The next is a young woman that I work with at Shaishav.  This young woman comes from and still lives in the slums, and is one of the most joyful and happy people I have ever met.  I will call her N.  N still lives at home with her family in a one room home with no plumbing.  There is an open  shared communal courtyard with several other families.  N was adamant about getting her education and wanting to work instead of marrying young.  She loves the children in the slum communities, and is dedicated (working long hours 6 days a week) and incredibly proud of the work she is involved in.  Even though her life consist of family, friends and work, she is always just bubbling over with joy and always singing and connecting with others.  Her happy energy is so contagious, and everyone loves her--especially the children.  How could they not?  And even though she has seen that others live differently and have more,  she is so proud to take you to her home and share whatever meager offerings they may have in their cupboard.  And not only that, N sends me these great inspirational txt messages several times a week.  I was blown away when I received my 1st one!!   Many days she deals with so many problems and stressful issues, but  never lets that get her down.  She just keeps smiling and singing and shifting back to her happy & positive attitude.  Life is just that simple for her.  I strive to learn how to be so present with joy in each moment as she does.  She brings me delight.

The 3rd is a young man I work with I will call A.  Never have I ever met such an  loving,  heart centered, unselfish person.  This man, too, comes from extremely poor beginnings in a small rural village.  He just loves everyone he meets.  Truly and genuinely!!  Like N, he is also laughing and joyful all of the time.  This man will NEVER say anything negative about anyone.  He will oblige anyone almost anything at any time of the day or night--never complaining,  never resenting.  He represents a person that is here to support, love and serve others--tirelessly.  I have seen him go for several days without sleep, just offering help and support throughout the communities wherever he is needed--day and night.  If a child is in trouble--he will be there!  What he owns could probably be packed in one small box, but he will tell you he is rich and blessed beyond measure and wants for nothing.  He is always someone you can go to and depend on to help you in any way he can---cheerfully.  And he will bring laughter and playfulness to you also.  He is contagious that way!!  He models to me the purity of what a soul can be.          So, India is teaching me so much through it's people.  I have heard about the spirit of this land, but have never quite seen such a beautiful display of pure love, joy, selflessness and servant leadership.

On another note, I recently was introduced to some new places to visit in Bhavnagar by my friend, Khyati.  One was this great old library.  It was room after room of old dark wooden cases of very old leather bound books, and dark wooden reading tables.  And there is enough of a collection in English that exploring them and more of the history of India would be an exciting thing to do on those rainy monsoon afternoons.  There is also a reading room that gets the daily India Times in English.  YAHOO!!  I was thrilled about that!!  Know what I will be doing many afternoons starting the end of June!!          And next to this building is the Gandhi museum.  Gandhi was actually born in Bhavnagar.  This museum holds one of the most impressive collection of photographs of his entire life and his writings & letters.  It was amazing to witness this display of his life.  And the last picture of the collection was of Gandhi being burned on his funeral pyre after being murdered while his faithful and supportive friend, Nehru, stood by solo and solemnly gazed on.   So much important history and demonstrating the courage to live into your values even in the face of imprisonment or death.   I was extremely moved by the love and emotion I felt from this photograph.  I will definitely go back and spend more time there.  

Last week, I went to visit  friends in Mumbai and a city called Pune, which was a new town for me.  It is about 3 hours East driving from Mumbai through some beautiful & lush mountainous area. I will have to say that my delight in Mumbai was not only reconnecting with a friend from the past, but actually going to a theater and seeing an American film (in English) and then going to this cozy "social house" where you sit on couches with cushions and they bring you Hookah pipes with your choice of tobacco.  Of course, my friend and I just delightfully observed, while we nursed a bottle of Champagne over great conversation.   It was such a pleasant and fun experience.  I am understanding just how interesting and diverse India is.  Bhavnagar, Mumbai & Pune, and Goa are extremely different from each other in every way--language, food, climate & landscape, and culture.  Pune is a very progressive city with a strong focus on Eastern philosophies.  It is the home of the Osho meditation retreat & gardens, many famous yoga masters, tantra studies, process drama therapy studies, etc.  All the subjects for anyone seeking to grow spiritually.  And there is a nice mixture of modern & foreign visitors with all of the  charm and culture of old India.  If you are coming to India, I would add Pune to your must visit places.  I also connected with 2 other amazing women that I feel like I have known forever, and will now call friends.  Pune will definitely be my place to go to refresh and nourish my soul.

And this week, I had two of the  coolest experiences.  The 1st was that my artist friend, Bhavesh, took me very early Thursday morning to the old market to mingle and take pictures of real Indian life as it awakened.  I had been wanting to do this and take my camera for some time.  What an amazing and delightful experience!!  I was so welcomed, invited to join people,  given gifts, as well as sharing their Chai with us.  And of course, I shared with them the pictures I took.  I brought them as much laughter and joy as they brought me.  I am still just blown away at the openness and inclusion  that the Indian people have shown me.  Quite a few people have told me that the India culture says that any guest or traveler to their land is to be treated as a God.  And man, do they live up to that.  They feel it is a duty & honor to do anything to please you--because you are as important as a God.   The highlight of the day was coming upon 3 old spiritual nomads--all painted up and in their exotic attire and interesting head dresses.  These men have dedicated their lives to wondering around seeking spiritual enlightenment.  They were warm, friendly, and invited us to sit with them.  I would have loved to have asked them tons of questions, but unfortunately that is where the frustration of my not speaking the language arises.  Thankfully Bhavesh was there to interpret and explain.  (Please see the amazing pictures of them on my FB photo album).

The 2d experience was finally going to the shore of the Arabian Sea that is very close to Bhavnagar.  Yesterday some of the staff and I took 200 of the youth we work with there  for a picnic and overnight camp out.  They were delighted and so were we.  Lots of singing, comraderie, and a late night stroll on the beach watching the red 1/2 moon rise over it was beautiful.  And this morning we all went to watch the bright orange ball of the sun rise, while painting the sky with pink tinges.  Watching that scene and the joy of these children that experience so many hardships--just playing in the sand  so carefree-- was heart rendering indeed.  The other most amazing thing to watch was the tides reaction to the sun rising.  The tide looked like it was at least a mile out.  But as soon as the sun started peaking, you could hear the change and movement of the water.  Within about 30 minutes, this tide filled in the space of that mile.  You could literally watch it filling in and rising that quickly.  I have never seen a tide move in like that before.  I really thought about the power of nature, as well as the perfect balance that she knows how to do--even with the oceans.

So now the heat is a scorching 108 degrees every day.  There are no air conditioners here, and the fans just blow the hot air around.  I can say I have never experienced anything so intense.  It drains your energy.  If you have a chilled bottle of water, within 2 hours it is so hot from the air temperature that you cannot drink it.  And as typical, still no rain for over 6 months.  It is hard for me to believe that anything can grow or live here--but it somehow manages. Again the power of nature and the will of life to survive.  But,  I cannot wait for the 1st rains to cool and clean the air.  I think I will just lay down,  let it soak me and scream with joy!!!  Of course, that will be the monsoon rain season that usually starts mid June through September or October.  I know, I know,  got to be careful what you pray for!!!   I will probably be praying for blue skies around September!!

So now, I am preparing for my break from the heat and will take a 5 week holiday in Italy, France and Amsterdam.   Italy is really a place that I have loved for so long  and feel so at home--the land, it's people, it's culture, it's language, it's food.  The whole enchilada--or shall I say the whole lasagne!! And a visit from my girlfriend Sheila will be the icing on the cake.  Lookout Italy!   And then a visit to stay with my friend in Amsterdam--well what more could I ask for?   So my next Blog will be a summary of my European adventure, friends and pictures,  then my return to India.  Please be sure to look at my latest pictures I am posting with this Blog.  I hope you are all well and happy and that you are continuing to enjoy my stories and adventure here.  Please feel free to comment.  I love hearing your thoughts and feeling.

Namaste and much love,
Kathryn

India, and going deeper!!

Hello Friends,
There doesn't seem to be a flow to my Blogs.  Maybe that is a good thing.  One of the things I have wanted for myself while in India was to let go of the "shoulds" and "need tos" that have been with me so long, and just be with what feels right in the moment with no excuses,  explanations or understandable reasons.  I have also been feeling the desire to allow myself to show up on my Blogs with all of the vulnerability I am feeling during this period, and just be transparent with it.  It is part of my learning how to be OK with the whole of me and love myself just the way I am, which includes lots of different emotions that I do not clearly understand for now.   So if you choose, you can be part of my very personal journey, as well as learn about this region of India.

In the last week, I was invited by a co-worker to go with her family outside the city for the day and a picnic.  Of course, only a portion of her family would be able to attend.  I accepted gratefully!  Well, the "partial" family was a group of 35, and a bus was chartered to handle us all.  It proved to be a wonderful day filled with new experiences and observations.  This family was different to most that I have been exposed to so far.  Most of my exposure has been of small families in the slum areas that either have low or no education,  do not necessarily nurture or find value in their children, and the women for the most part are considered property and also without much value except for work.       This family was the opposite.  Educated, outgoing, loving and welcoming to me,  loving and nurturing of their children, love and respect for their spouses, and there was the great Matriarch that they all cherished and respected.  It was a real and genuine sense of community and deep love of family.  They all live fairly close together, love and spend time with each others children, truly had a lot of love for each other, and make time to regularly get together for outings and worship together. They truly love each other's company.

The bus took us to a nice rural area and to a temple that they love to periodically visit.  As many temples go, there is a small, but elaborately carved, marble "temple/house" that holds the "Gods & Goddesses", with a large open gazebo-style communal area outside.  Of course, Indians always sit together on the ground or floor in community for HOURS!!  It is really incredible and doesn't matter your age or how hard the ground is!!  After a very short time I am always squirming, but they can be still for so many hours and without a break!!       After spending some time together talking, they next decided they were ready for the devotional portion. The women had gone shopping for items to present to their Goddess.  They bought several very elaborate gold and jeweled necklaces and other ornaments, as well as beautiful saris to present to her.  When I asked them about this, they matter-of-factly stated that "We love all of these things, so why wouldn't she?"  Seemed logical to me on the surface.  But I am not a surface kind of girl!!    Next they sat together facing the door of the temple, and chanted their soulful prayer-song together.  I watched them and could feel their sincere and deep devotion.  They sang loudly, clear, and definitely from the heart.  Afterwards, they all went into the temple to continue their prayers for their family and the world.  Then they presented and dressed their goddess with her new "items", presented the fresh flower wreaths, as well as the fresh coconuts and ladu (homemade sweets) they had brought.  I have to say, I was touched and moved by their devotion.  That aspect I got!  It was actually a nice perspective for me to experience--me the totally non pomp & circumstance, anti-organized  religious girl!  But with all of the statues (elaborately adorned, but strange, motionless, cold and unseeing)that  I see everywhere, it does still move me to wonder why the world wants/needs these idols?  Almost a need to somehow humanize God??!!  Just wondering!   I am not judging anyone for their needs and practices, but glad that my God is in my heart, in nature and the world, and allows me freedom to just connect anytime and any place--naturally.

  Afterwards, they were ready to gather for lunch.  Everyone had brought delicious homemade delights to share and continue the fellowship.  Then a group of us walked a ways to this incredible high butte (that looked to be formed from volcanic rock) where an elaborate Jain Temple was being built at the top.  The whole butte was filled with deep caves.  So we hiked all the way to the top, and stopped for visits to some of the caves.  It takes 17 to 20 years to build these Jain temples because of their detail.  They are beautifully ornate carvings and statues of solid marble--therefore the length of time involved.  (I have posted pictures on my FB).  It was quite a hike up in the intense India heat (now 105 degrees during afternoon), but the journey was so worth it.  Truly amazing architecture, and the views were also incredible.  Jains are a very devout sect--somewhere between Buddhists and Hindus.  They walk to their temples (not allowed any motor transportation) in the hot intense sun--barefoot (not allowed shoes on worship day)!!  Talk about devotion!!

Then we went to another village to a market for shopping and either Chai or a cold drink before the 2 hrs trip home.  I made new friends this day, and was so glad for my experience--and also FINALLY met a yoga teacher.  (Can't wait to get started.  He has been teaching for years daily, so I think I am in for some hard work--and much soreness.) Several in the group spoke English, and everyone tried at least a little.  They all wanted to make me have as much fun as possible, feel included, and add to my experience by explaining as much as they could of the area or life in India (and they are still calling me and inviting me).  I am still just blown away at the importance of family to what embodies the "real and healthy" India family.  They may have some disagreements occasionally, but NEVER would they not work thru them and they are commited to keep love and harmony foremost.  I did not feel an ounce of anything forced or phony.  For a girl that had very little sense of family connection  as a child, nor seen enough of it in my life--it was totally refreshing.  I really thought about how disconnected the family is in America--leading such separate lives in most cases.  How do we get back to family and that strong unit?  How are these people able to do that (they can't comprehend there would be a family without it) and we can't quite figure it out?  What is really in our way?  It  made me value more than ever (and miss) a strong family unit in my life.

This even extends to farm animals.  On another outing, I was watching a farmer plow his fields with his two large oxen-type cows.  It was hard work in the intense days sun.  This man would have his cows  plow a few rows only so as not to over exhaust them, then he would lovingly take them to the shade & unharness them, give them water & fresh grass, and allow them time to rest.  He took the time to repeatedly do this.  I was fascinated and moved at the process.    It has been a good experience to get outside the city and view real life in this rural region.  These are incredibly hard working and enterprising people.  And no self pity what-so-ever.  I actually had a training session with some of my co-workers  last week, and I asked them about the feeling of self pity.  I had to explain what that meant.  They could not even understand the concept!!  Some of them are from slum areas themselves, so I thought surely they had witnessed this.   They told me that no matter how hard someone's circumstances are---never did they know of anyone that felt self pity.  For most, everyone just focuses on what they need to do and DO IT!  No complaining or time for thoughts of pity!  WOW!!  I was truly amazed at this.  I think of how many people that I have known in my life that have so much  but  are constantly feeling sorry for themselves.  This truly showed me a wonderfully different perspective on people!!

I also last week had the feared bicycle accident!  Just not from the traffic like I expected.  I have found this wonderful natural wildlife park to walk in not too far from my home--away from the city noise and toxic air.  So I rode my bike one day last week, Chili Masala, and enjoyed my power walk smelling all of the wonderful fragrant Jasmine and sighting wild Peacocks and a very large porcupine, and watching a fabulous sunset.  All was well on my journey home (now dark) until I hit a large unseen hole in the road and Kathryn and bike went (literally) flying!  A cable guide wire from an electric pole caught me across the ribs as Chili Masala took another path.  I thought my ribs were broken, but now feel just badly bruised.  Much too old to go flying through the air, so I will really be looking more carefully for those many potholes.  I was in an isolated area with no one around, so fortunately, I was able to breathe and get up after a few minutes.  It did rip my basket from the front of my bike, so I had to hunt for it.  And believe it or not--Chili was still able to make the next 4 miles back home.  An oldie girl, but a goodie girl!! I kept remembering my self pity theme--no time for that--just get up and go home and it will all be OK!!   Hopefully this week I am healed enough to try it again.  Then maybe yoga next week!!

So for me, I have been in this extremely uncomfortable place emotionally for over a month. Not fear, or anxiety (that is good because that does show some growth), just extreme discomfort.   Yet, I know this is perfect and just where I am supposed to be.  I am in the biggest transformation period of my life, and I am giving myself time to just experience and be with my emotions, not try to run from, fix or even try to understand them for now.  I do realize that I have been a major stimulus junkie all my life!!  I have had my life so filled non stop with life, friends, travels, adventure, etc--oh my god I could NEVER allow myself to get bored (which I did easily).  Never could be still, quite or heaven forbid alone for very long!  And if I didn't have that, I would numb it with something--wine, busyness, etc!!   When I first arrived in India, the newness was enough stimulation for me.  But right on time, as the newness wore off and the flow of life took over, there was no stimulation (outside my work) to satisfy my normal craving.  I had no friends to chat and hang out with, no "place" or entertainment that I could go to, and since it is a dry state--no alcohol to numb me.  Also feeling very alone (not lonely--but alone).  So all of the crazy talk started--"What have you done with your life? How will I survive?  What will I do?  Where can I go?  I need (this or that)!!"  You know the drill!   I recognized that since I didn't have "things or "stuff" to get my FIX, my mind was creating the drama of pain to fill it.  That is strong emotion and even though not fun--it was my place that was more normal--and uncomfortably comfortable! The only way to break this lifelong habit was to just STAY with it without interfering or giving in, breathe, notice, and let it work through me.  Difficult, but so worthwhile.  Still a ways to go, but I am definitely feeling the shift.  My desire is to be able to be alone in quiet and nature for days if I choose--peaceful and enjoying myself without any need for anything other than that present moment and awareness.  Still have my "fun" times, but no longer NEED them!  I also think I will also enjoy and be much more present to those experiences in the future as a bonus!  This is my work to do right now on myself, and I look forward to the freedom and peace that it will give me.  Those of you that have followed me the last few years, know that I have been on this spiritual growth path and also to greatly simplify my life.  Toward this, one of the things I was aware of lately is that I had only brought a few pairs of earrings that I had had for a long time, but had stopped wearing years ago.  When I was younger and before I had started "collecting stuff", I had so loved these beautiful, yet small carved stone earrings--lovingly given to me by my husband, Greg.  They were so loved and cherished.  Through the years, not that I didn't still think they were beautiful, but I kept needing bigger and better!  Well, I didn't have a desire to bring the bigger better versions.  I have and wear the original small & cherished ones.  It feels good to get back to that simple and heart place!!  Long way to go on this journey, but glad I found the path back.

My last comment is, I have so many great friends from around the world.  But so many seem to be  in pain, unsatisfied & unfulfilled with their lives, and looking for deep love.  This is across sexes, cultures, and ages.  Why are so many people wanting the same thing--but not able to connect or find each other?  Cities full of people searching--but having to seek each other from behind computers.   From my perspective and experience, so many of us are looking for deep love & connection, but  still so afraid to really open our hearts to it and just trust.  So we keep looking outward, when sometimes it may be right under our nose--the very thing we are really longing for.   Sometimes we miss so much by getting in our own way.   This is also true sometimes for things we have but have stopped cherishing and nurturing.  Everything else gets all of your attention, except the one thing that really is the thing you  cherish and love the most.  It seems we as humans sometimes need to experience deep pain and loss before we can truly appreciate the gifts when they arrive, or the ones we have in front of us.   I have lost much and my heart still knows it, as I know many people have.  My wish is that the world will slow down & stop running, connect from the heart with each other, SEE each other or what is in front of you, and we can all fill this vacant spot within so many of us, and our pain can be healed through genuine love .  That we will again learn to find value in each other, and hold dear to us all of the things that we love and will ultimately help heal the world.

Thank you for allowing me to express from my heart and continuing to support me on this amazing journey,
Namaste and much love,
Kathryn

The Real India Journey Begins

Hello dear friends,
I say the REAL journey begins, because the newness period is over and I am settling into life in India and developing somewhat of a schedule (if that is possible in India), or at least a flow.  I am in the full swing of my training, which I love.  I am now working at so many levels, on so many applications, and with so many different groups from youth, adolescents to adults.  It is the most exciting opportunity to use ALL my skills that I trained diligently for over the last 4 1/2 years, plus my previous years of business and life experiences.  Funny how at the time, I wasn't sure why I was doing all of the training or what it was far--but just trusting  what I was being called to do.  That faith has certainly paid off, and put me on the most exciting life journey and experiences of all!  And I am starting to see glimmers of change and empowerment in people here already.  So rewarding to witness.  But I feel that I am the one learning the most.  My 1st 2 blogs were more about observations and stories of India.  There has been a substantial change going on in me over the last 1 1/2 months, and I noticed that there has been a settling in and quietness that has spread over me.  I have reported many "mini post" on FB, but where I couldn't wait to create my Blogs before--I now found a resistance.  This is where the spiritual and intimate feelings and shifts in me are surfacing.  So with that being said, I now know that my sharing with you will not only be of interesting stories from India--but I will be sharing some very intimate feelings and changes that I go through as I continue growing and learning from this experience.  I promise to try to keep enough interest and stimulation for your enjoyment, however!

I still really love the people here.  I am being loved more and more, not only by the staff I work with, but the community as a whole.  I am making friends and almost being "fought over" as to whose home I go next.  They now know I love ice cream, and know  my favorite flavors, so now I usually get to enjoy  that as well as great fellowship after my afternoon field work and training.  I also notice how affectionate the girls & women are to each other--and the boys and men are also--I so love that.  But I interestingly didn't see any affection anywhere among couples--even married.  I know some of that is because of cultural taboos of display, but even in homes of couples.  And this has been "marriage" season.  Yes, there is a season!!  And I have observed many celebrations, only to find that there didn't seem to be much joy.  There was a lot of pomp and circumstance and going through great celebratory motions--but a real lack of joy in most instances.  I asked about this, and everyone feels that it is true.  Marriages are still arranged, so these couples are usually strangers, and the girls go off to live with the "even stranger" in-laws.  And many times they all share space together, even for sleeping, so young couples have no privacy or ever get a real chance to be alone and develop a deep relationship.  Too many of these young girls get married only to find themselves living with a husband and in-laws that only wanted a "slave worker" and their dowry, plus they are not allowed to leave the house.  I am reading more and more instances where these young women are so sad, lonely and abused in these situations, and feel they have no where to go, that they are committing suicide.  It is a really sad and heartbreaking thing to read. So, now I am meeting so many young women  that are choosing to not marry.  They say after witnessing the unhappiness or their parents (mainly mothers)  and so many friends--they realize they love their freedom and lives of work and friendships--and they surely look and seem happy.   This is a huge shift in awareness which will make a big cultural impact and puts people more in charge of their lives and own happiness.

Also, one of the things that has troubled me since day one, is that there is trash everywhere up and down every road. It is ugly and stinks!!   People just take it all outside their houses and dump it in the street.  Occasionally some city type vehicle will come by and attempt to rake and burn it. And of course, the burning is not pleasant either.  I have started an awareness campaign of trying to look at a change.  The attitude in this area is to just do what has always been done.  There is a great lack of reasoning capacity to look outside their situations, or question why or how of anything.  Easier just to follow and ignore any change.  Probably why this area has been so behind or slow to make cultural and needed situational changes than other regions--even Mumbai.  When I ask them if they hate looking at it and smelling it--they say they don't see it anymore.  SO I have asked them to see it now, and visualize what it would be like if everyone stopped just throwing things out their windows to the street and saw cleaned up streets.  They liked it.  Now my whole office has stopped throwing any trash outside at all.         But looking from the other side,  then the cows, dogs, goats, etc would miss a few meals!!  And also I daily see men and their children sifting through all of the trash looking for some or any resource they can use--or any bits of food they can salvage. Even the cow dung is a precious resource--and I am sure that they are glad it is plentiful--all in your perspective.  Women and children collect the dried patties daily for use of fuel for cooking, or bonding materials for houses.  It is so valuable, that one of the math training modules we have for kids uses mathematical equations for: " if you have 2 pails of dung and you need 8 pails of dung, then how many more pails of dung do you need to complete your tasks?"  (Something like that!!)  Obviously, I was extremely amused!!!   So, it is all in the way of the system and what your perspective is, right?  Is there a right or wrong? Which way is correct to serve what population?

The other thing I am learning about is the caste system here.  There are 5 main caste systems, but many sub caste in the lower systems.  The lower caste used to be considered and called (and sometimes still are) the Untouchables.  That is because no one else would touch them, be near them, help them, educated them, or even eat any food they touched or prepared.  ANd where "they" say that is changing, I still see very strong evidence that it exists.  The lower caste are only for the most menial jobs that no one else would do.  They are the sewer cleaners that many of you may have seen from Slumdog Millionaire.  For instance, people want a low caste person to clean their homes--daily--for almost no wages. The people at this level are at least clean, so they are allowed in their houses.  However these people will clean everything in the house except the toilets.  You have to have a separate even lower caste person come to clean the toilets.  It is unbelievable to even hear about, much less see.   Also these low caste people do the menial construction jobs. So even though people "say" that they want change, who would do these jobs for them?  These people are the same ones that say one thing, but  then complain if these same "workers" ask for a rupee more to try to increase their standards.  Im just saying!!!!!!    Here there is no machinery, so buildings (which usually can go as high as 4 stories) are all built manually.  No cranes, concrete trucks, or heaven forbid safety equipment around anything--much less the scaffolding!!  Whether it is to clean up rubble from a torn down previous building or carry materials for the new construction, my observation is that old women and some men from lower caste are used for this--also children!  I have seen time and time again, old women carrying so much concrete, bricks & rubbles on large trays off a site, or dead lifting approximately 100 lbs bags of cement to carry  them on their heads up 4 levels for the workers.  The other day I stopped during a particularly hot afternoon to try to show these women how to pick up these hugh loads with their legs--not their backs (who knows what their spine and neck is like from always carrying so much weight).  Lots of men were just standing around and watching this.  They were struggling getting my meaning after repeated attempts, but knew that I was trying to help them.  I saw they had no food or water, so I next walked down the street for water and a bunch of bananas to bring back to them.  I hugged them, looked them in the eyes and I could see their shock that I would care and actually touch them.  Being the only foreigner and White American as I stated before, I am highly visable and being watched closely.  Not only does this feed my soul, but I hope that I am a  model of compassion to others and hope that I am planting seeds of caring and positive change for others to follow.  And if not, I made a difference in their lives for that day--and in mine!!

There was a funny situation that happened the other day.  I now know that cows are NOT colorblind!!  I previously told you that this is a drought area with no rain WHAT-SO-EVER until monsoon season starts.  So everything is all brown!!  Occasionally I see someone will get a little offering of green grasses on the side of the road for the cows and goats.  SO the cows have obviously identified anything green as food.  I was walking down the road with a green post-it-note in my hand.  Normally cows totally ignore you.  Well, this day, this large cow came charging up to me.  These are Brahmas and known to be somewhat aggressive when they want to be.  I just stopped in my tracks wondering--what the heck?  Then I realized this cow, from down the road, saw that small green piece of paper in my hand and was excited that she came for her treat!  Needless to say, I now never carry anything green when I am walking the streets.

The other custom that I really like is that Indians love to eat in communion--as well as be in community.  At my office,  lunch everyday is brought from home and shared with each other.  We all wait for each other, then sit together in a circle on the floor and share our items with the group and enjoy fellowship.  Sometimes afterwards we bring out the Harmonium and drums and sing wonderful India songs together. I just love the sense of family that most people have here.  And they certainly have made me their family.  Lots of great laughter, smiles, and hugs!!  Now I am being invited for sleep overs from some of the single women.  Too cool!!

Another funny (not so funny)  story I will share is that there was a newspaper article about an old women that had fallen into an unmarked manhole and seriously injured herself.  The article said that there are many manholes throughout the city with large and deep manholes that are left unmarked and long periods of time, and their is no lighting around them at night.  Many injuries have occurred.  The cities response was (make sure you are sitting down)---"It is not the fault of the city.  We have learned that the victim had problems with her eyesight.  Her family should have been more careful and not allowed her to leave the house after 6:30 when it is dark".   I was wondering what US citizens would do if they received a statement like that from this situation--or better yet that any official would have the audacity to make that statement??!!

So, I will prepare to close this blog.  I have days of complete joy, and I have days of complete frustration.  I have days I know that this is the perfect and best choice I ever made.  I have days that I ask what the heck I have done with my life.  I have been turned inside out and upside down, and yet I still know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be for now.  I am in a place of total surrender to what shows up each day, what my role is, how I can serve this population, what I will learn, and feeling strong and powerful about this journey.  I so realize how human I am,  and am grateful to be so alive to feeling so many powerful emotions.  My journey is really just now beginning.  I have let go of trying to "get in my head" of analyzing my feelings for now, and just letting them come and be what they are.  They need time to "simmer", and I am excited and looking forward to seeing what it will all look like when it is "baked"!  And I have let go of wondering very much what is down the road and worrying what tomorrow or my future will look like.  I certainly had no idea a year ago that I would be living in India--so why waste time with that energy!  So living in the present, loving and doing exciting work, and lightening my load has added so much to my life and happiness.      I thank you dedicated friends, for listening to me, for sharing your thoughts & responses with me, and for letting me know that you care.  The greatest feeling is to know that people out there love and care about you.  So please all of you take care and watch for continued updates.  This upcoming weekend is a national and everyone's favorite annual festival--the Holi color festival.  All about painting yourself with lots of colors and being creative with it and celebrating together.  Looks like fun to me!!  So look for some awesome pictures soon.

Namaste,
Kathryn

India--Into the Mystic

Oh my, it is already 3 weeks now in India.  There is so much I have seen and experienced.  Where do I begin??  Since I ended with the Kite Festival, I will begin there.  What a delightful experience that was.  The day started with children waking early with anticipation--much like Christmas!  Everyone had spent much time selecting their kites and glass infusing their strings as they prepared for the battle of the kites in the skies.  The entire day was spent flying kites from the rooftops as families and friends gathered for group  parties to  celebrate the day.  There was also much music, great food, and laughter.  As I strolled through some neighborhoods, I was continually invited to come and join quite a few parties.  Some would even come from their roofs to try to coerce me to join them.  I did visit a few and tried my hand at kite flying from a standing position on a roof.  Fortunately, I didn't crash my kites, but I definitely need lots of instruction!  At evening time, kites were sent up to the skies with candles, which was a magical site.  Such a beautiful thing to see.  You can go on the internet and search for India kite  festivals  and see this.  It is worth the time to do.

I am still in awe of this interesting place.  There are no frills here, and if you are not fairly healthy or strong, it is incredibly challenging to manage.  I was sitting at a restaurant the other day that was partially underground and required going down steps to enter it.  As I sit there, I watched this man come down the stairs.  The amazing part was that he had no legs from the torso down, and was walking with his hands in a pair of shoes. Since there is so much dirt here, this is somewhat understandable.   He managed this by making his arms straight while he kept his body also hanging down straight between his arms.  Unbelievable!!  I thought about how much the U.S. has made strides in the last years for physically challenged people to be able to more easily manage getting around in society.  Here, there are the rare but uneven sidewalks, uneven or broken structures with no ramps, and in the chaotic streets you take your life in your hands, and no elevators. Had he had a wheelchair, he still would still not have been able to maneuver it around--probably even less than he was getting around with his present method.  So he obviously made a choice about his life--be free to live his life and go where he wants or be a prisoner to his disability.  I didn't observe any "pity parties" in his energy--just strength and confidence!

I am also still amazed at what these women can carry on their heads. One day I observed a women carrying what looked like a 1/4 pallet of brick on her head.  Ouch, my neck!!  And a few days later, a woman was carrying 3 tiers of very large stainless steel vessel (almost as tall as she) on her head as she carried what was about 8 heavy looking stainless pails of milk in her hands.  And of course, all in their beautiful saris and their erect postures!!  Now this must be some intensive level of training.  Sure is more masterful than those silly ones where girls are trained to walk proper with a few books on their heads!! We need to update our standards!!!!!

The other unbelievable thing that I found out recently is that teachers here are somewhat appointed to their jobs.  They are some of the highest paying jobs around (even though that isn't saying much) , they pretty much cannot be fired and have those jobs for life.  What is so interesting is that they have no accountability what so ever!!  My understanding is that most have several other jobs that they go to instead, collect their teachers salaries and they hire unqualified people, that they pay a very small amount, to go teach their classes for them.  And those  people may show up--or not!  No accountability or standards!  Fortunately, there are a  few that actually do care and take their responsibility seriously to teach the kids.     Also because of severe corporal punishment  from many teachers, this makes many kids afraid to attend school.  Since education is not highly regarded and encouraged from poor families that would instead have their children working to help support the family income, positive changes through education are challenging at most, but sorely needed.  As a society, we must keep trying to effect this needed positive change.  Part of what my organization, Shaishav, does is educate the children of their rights, including their right to education, and is helping to empower children to stand up and fight for their rights, since their families cannot or will not do this in many cases.  I have already witnessed this, and it is a beautiful thing! India has the highest number of child labor in the world.  Every 4th child is in labor here.  It is estimated that there are 110 million child labors in this country.  They work very hard at a very young age for long hours with very little pay.  They experience no play, recreation, education or basic rights, much less the toll this takes on their health and development.  Even though it is now illegal for a child in this country under the age of 14 to work (a very new law), it is still not enforced and is overlooked.   We believe that Healthy Children=Healthy Adults=Healthy Societies!!

And whole families are here living on the hard packed dirt of the side of the road totally exposed to the elements.  The sun is very tense during the days, and many women and babies are exposed to this without any protection.  A few have managed to find a bit of plastic or a piece of fabric to try to hang over them during this time.  Some have managed to find a blanket or fabric to lay on the ground for sleeping.  Some find their bed is actually the hard dirt.  Many of these children are so incredibly dirt encrusted that it is hard to believe it is a real child.  I cannot imagine their lack of food, water and resources.  I observed a women the other day that had somehow managed to find a precious pail of water and was trying to bath her 3 very young children with it.  I was lamenting to myself earlier that day that I had been missing my hot showers,  instead of my now daily cold one, and had also lamented that I needed a nice thick and soft towel--one that had enough fabric that it would actually be able to take the moisture off of my body. In the scheme of things------!!!!!     Funny how quickly my perspectives change these days!!!

I am now a registered official citizen of Bhavnagar, India.  That was an interesting experience.  I had to make 2 trips to the "scary" police department, to be questioned over and over, and complete more volumes of documentation--even though the India Consulate had approved my Visa.  It was initially a little intimidating, as I sat there with tiny mice running across my feet, but I decided to just relax and make it actually a kind of fun experience.  In this part of the world, the men (especially at the police department) are not use to outgoing, fun, confident women.  But my jovial, playful spirit won them over.  Not only did I get my residency, they waived my having to leave India in 6 months for a couple of day, and told me that I can go ahead and request to extend for 5 years beyond.  I also have the phone number of the policeman, that processed my papers, should I need anything at all.  One person really can change the energy in a space!!

One of my highlights lately is,  I helped train and facilitate an incredible event for 1200 of this areas poorest children this past Sunday, January 23rd.  Shaishav bused them in from their communities for the entire day as a  celebration for them.  They were  engaged in Play for Peace cooperative games of learning and applying different  life skills,  they learned about the differences in all of these diverse groups and how to interact  peacefully together,  they learned more effective ways to communicate together, and they listened to powerful life and success stories from various business people in the community.  A marching band performed, and there was also group singing activities,  good food, and a fun time had by all.  Some of these children were tribal and brought in from their villages.  Many, even though teenagers, had never stepped outside their villages, had seen the sea, traffic, or buildings.  This was hugely expansive for them to observe and participate.  We kept some of these extreme groups overnight, so they could so sightseeing the next day.  One of the things they requested was "to meet and talk with the white American woman".  That must mean me??  I  met with them for quite a while the next day.   I was totally delighted to be able to spend time with them, answer their questions about me and America, share pictures of Zoe (most of you know my beloved Zoe and her varied wardrobe), as well as ask them many questions that I was curious about.  Unfortunately most of this was done through my interpreter.   I have been invited to come to their village for a visit.  I am most definitely excited about that and look forward to the experience of not only visiting them, but of teaching them.

So I will close this Blog for now.  I did get a bike last week which is giving me more freedom to get around, instead of depending on my scooter rides or taking a rickshaw.  I have so far managed to dodge everything and everyone on the streets and lived another week to tell of it.  Pretty scary just the same!!  My bike is an old rickety girl and I like her that way.  However she is sporting a nice new seat, lock  and kickstand.  Since she is a rusty orange sort of color--I have lovingly named her "Chili Masala".   I will also  be starting to learn more than just a few words of Gujarati as I finally start formal classes.  I look forward to passing a few of them on to you.  Chemchho means" hello".  Majama means "I'm fine or ok",  and aavjo (pronounced the aav like the 1st part of ouch, and add  the jo) means "goodbye" And with that I will also say goodbye for now.  I hope that you are enjoying my tales and facts of India.

Namaste,
Kathryn Kylee

New Beginnings in India

Hello Dear Friends,
I have just completed my 1st week in India.  What an interesting, diverse, wild and exotic place.  It is true what I was told about the hospitality of these beautiful people.  Here in Bhavnagar, life is very basic, old world, chaotic, hard, but yet magical all in one.  I was picked up at the small airport by Parul from Shaishav in a local Rickshaw.  Me and all my 3 bags, camera bag & carry-on bag.  There are very few autos here (which are expensive and rarely used), just foot traffic, bicycles, scooters, and rickshaws---all trying to dodge the numerous and many large cows, goats, pigs, & dogs in the roads--with what seems to be very little road rules.  Appears to be somewhat dangerous and chaotic--even to cross the street.  So much for my 1st thought of maybe getting my own scooter.  Not that brave yet!!  Most of my travel is on the back of a scooter, which I am now bravely enjoying.  It allows me to feel that I am exposed, part-of and in the pulse of life here.

The main streets are paved here, because it is so dry and there is no grass, the dirt and dust pretty much covers everything.  There is always an interesting haze of dust and fumes in the air, as well as the mixed smells of decay, exotic spices, and the occasional incenses from the sidewalk temples.  It would be easy for some to only see strife, hardship, dirt, oppression and scarcity here, and that would be very easy to do.  But if one opens their eyes and really looks, you can also see all of the incredible beauty here.  There is an interesting pulse and vibrancy to the life here.  The people and their hearts are beautiful, the food is amazing, the warmth & friendliness & sharing is lovely, the sense of community& simpleness of life is inviting, the colors of the woman's saris are magical, the markets are fascinating, and the smell of the night jasmine as you walk the streets at night  are hypnotic!  And the real magic starts at night.  The energy changes, yet I cannot explain the difference.  The markets at night are alive, active and magical--what I think captures the real pulse of India.    It feels like something out of a movie--dark, mysterious and forbidden--yet exotic, inviting and compelling all at once.  It is one of my favorite experiences to just fill up all of the senses.

The food here is amazing, and everyone is eager to constantly feed me and take me home to meet their families. The Shaishav staff now calls me Kathrynben.  Ben means lovingly "my sister".  I just love that!!     I have also become addicted to the Marsala/Ginger Chai.  How could anyone live a day without it??  There are stands everywhere, so I can enjoy it throughout the day wherever I go.  Managing to not gain weight will be a challenge here, and fortunately I LOVE spicy fresh homemade foods.  Meals here are definitely a social experience, sometimes spreading out on the floor "picnic" style and sharing all the lovingly prepared delights.    Finding resources is a challenge however.  No supermarkets here!!  So, you have to travel far and wide (if you know where to go) to get what you need, then figure out how to bring it home if it is too much to carry.  I have not learned how to carry everything on my head like the woman here.  And there is very little capacity to store things at home--IF you are lucky enough to have a small refrigerator.   I finally got a small one after 5 days.  Funny how little I really needed it.  And how strange that I keep looking for my paper towels and plastic wrap!!  

 I have blown out several of my electrical items already, so there are many things I need to figure out--or just let go of!!!  Forget blow drying my hair.   There is NO Wifi in town, so it took me a whole week to finally get to a technical computer store, get an external modem, and then it took 14 technical guys 1 1/2 hr to figure out how to install it in my Mac computer so it would work.  They had never seen a Mac, so they were all fascinated with it, and everyone stopped to participate on being part of the learning.  SO now I have my beloved computer--just VERY slow speed.  Patience, which I was needing to work on, will be one of my greatest new assets and learnings.  Also I am learning that it is impossible to plan or schedule my days--something I need to get a better handle on.  As soon as I "think" I have my next day scheduled, it gets totally changed and turned upside down.  And forget scheduling an "exact time" for a meeting.  I thought "Island Time" was challenging,  but this is at a new level.  Just breathe, Kathrynben!

It is amazing how quickly one can adapt to things, and how little we really need to survive quite well.  I am already enjoying this sparse, simple life.  It frees one up to be in community.  The Indians are rarely alone and work very long hours into the night.  I have a hard time convincing them I need "down time" or "alone time", a concept they do not understand. "You want to be alone and just read--how interesting"??!!   In this remote part  of the world, very few Westerners visit, so a white skinned, single American woman living among them is a great curiosity and fascination to them.  I visited some of the children in the slums yesterday and spent some time playing with them, and singing an American song for them. They are excited that I will be among them for at least a year.   They all wanted to feel my white skin.  Some had never seen a white skinned person before.  I really look forward to working in this community with teaching and empowering these children.  Children here are very undervalued and expendable, and many have not been afforded much, if any, education. This is especially true for girl children.  Their only perceived value, by many, is for them to get married, have children and work at home.  Why would they need education for that??  And because of that perception, many girl children do not survive childhood because they are also not valued enough to receive medical help.   Instead many have only known hard work in the factories since a very early age.   There are children's rights, but few people are enforcing them.  Shaishav was an organization created to teach these very poor children what their rights are and how to stand up for them.  It is an amazing and loving grass roots effort that I am glad to be part of.  Just looking into the bright smiles and eyes of these beautiful faces and hearing their laughter, how could anyone not see value in these young lives?  However, when families are in crisis to just find food and basic survival needs, it is a challenge for them to understand how to participate in helping to break that cycle--or at least break it for their children.  I thought I had seen the worst of things when I visited the slums.  Now I know different.  At least in the slums, there is a roof over their heads, and usually 1 mattress on the floor for the whole family to sleep on.  I have now witnessed families living on the sidewalks at night with dirt encrusted children that have never had a bath.  They have no protection from the elements, have to continually move, forage for sticks or coal from the rubbish to burn at night on the sidewalks for warmth or to cook whatever food remnants they can find from the trash in the streets. It is hard to believe with so much abundance in the world that anyone lives in those conditions.   I wondered--what if I had been a child born to those circumstances??? And child trafficking is still rampant here.  Over 40,000 children are kidnapped every year for slave labor, sex, etc and never found.  Is this really 2011???  There is so much work to be done here!  

On a happier note, tomorrow is the big annual Kite Flying Festival.  This is a ritual that has been famous for a long time.  If you have read the book The Kite Runner, you will know about this ritual.  For weeks the skies have been filled with colorful kites as children practiced their kite flying skills.  Strings are infused with broken glass so that kite fights can be battled.  An accomplished flyer can navigate their kites and strings to cut their opponents string and "down" their kite.  This goes on through the night with some kites being flown with lanterns in the sky.  The last kite flying is the well respected winner!!  A much coveted title!!  I am looking forward to experiencing this and taking lots of pictures.  Maybe next year I will be ready to join the battle.

This completes my post for my 1st magical week in India.  I hope you will enjoy sharing in my experiences and pictures.  It is going to be an amazing year indeed!!
Namaste,
Kathrynben